How an artist works is often misunderstood. While there are as many processes as there are artists, the idea of mounting a canvas on an easel and loading a paintbrush is an unlikely first step. There are expressionist artists who start this way, letting the medium guide the outcome. I am not one of them. As much as I might dream of painting beautiful landscapes that look great over the sofa, I am not that artist either. Being an artist requires, for me, risk and revelation. I must suffer for my art, or be inspired by a vision or challenge. I must massage an idea into shape until it becomes art.
I have massaged one idea into shape over several years. The idea is sexual assault and domestic violence and how to portray loss of agency and human harm. How does one go about creating art from trauma?
I thought I kept the secrets of childhood sexual assault and domestic violence carefully covered throughout my life.( Except when they weren’t.) I feared being seen through the lens of those experiences. I wanted to hide my victimization and powerlessness; I wanted others to see me as powerful and whole. Now I know I am made up of both of those things.
When I knew my work would be all about women, and created from a fine-tuned female gaze, I wanted to address the trauma of sexual assault that affects 1 in 3 women in their lifetime. The lives of millions of women around the world are impacted by sexual assault. How do we show compassion for our fellow humans if we are not aware of the damage it causes? Art is the way I do that.
I can tell you it is not easy to create art about horror, but artists have done it for centuries. For every idealized patriotic scene of war, there are other depicting death and torture. For every Madonna, there is a Susanna and The Elders. Artists invite you to look and to feel. Neither are easy.
When I first created art about trauma—how it affects body, mind and spirit, I needed a new language and new processes. I was no longer a portrait painter, creating images of others. I was looking inward, I was diving into the unconscious. I sought images to guide me, some kind of reference material. I could not imagine how to express trauma.
I studied the processes of surrealism for a way to begin. I tried automatic drawing and writing. Alone with my feelings, my hand began to move with no preconception to guide it. Long horizontal loops flowed together and eventually because the basis for Red Bodies. It shows a woman floating through time, from embryo to enlightenment, her body changing and expressing homage for its powerful function.
I experimented with appropriation and revision where my own images failed me. Symbols and icons expressed feelings and imagined outcomes. Whenever I got the least bit of criticism, I put the work away, once again wary of breaking the silence that gives sexual assault its power.
Creating Portals, three artworks you will see in Reshaping Trauma Through Art: An Artist’s Quest for Healing from Sexual Assault, were part of a healing process to experience myself whole and worthy, and to reshape trauma in ways that recognized the silent child, the hopeless teen and the fierce woman. Their creation required focused energy on my part. Often I had no idea what I was doing or why I made the decisions I did. I began to trust the process and realize this was a new path to making art.
As I live with the images over several years, I am surprised by new revelations that come to me, things that were hidden come forward and speak my truth.
I will share these images during the month of April as tribute to National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month. Opening Night April 1st, will introduce the work , the artist, and the generous sponsors and supporters. At this fun party you can see the Fourth International Women’s Show along with the main event. On April 8th and April 21st from 3:30 to 5:00 PM at The Price Center, I will give informal artists tours. These are interactive visits where the process of art making is shared. We will discover together how art enhances activism, and how we can find healing in art making. You can attend one of these tours or bring a group. Please contact me at jenniferepperson@thestudio61.com if you want to bring a group.
On Saturday evening, April 23 at 6:00*, I will present my personal story of healing from sexual assault. It guides my quest for knowledge and understanding of sexual assault and domestic violence, of the crimes and the widespread mental health problems they cause, and the hope for education and prevention.
* Please be aware that parts of the presentation may trigger some folks and that we will have therapists and counselors at the event as well as a safe room.